Kimberly Steele

The straight dating scene, if it can be labeled as a single entity, is a hot, red mess.  Dating has always been a hellscape.  Contrary to popular belief, it was worse in the days before internet hookups.  Back in the day, the people at the local pub or bar were the only real choices unless you belonged to a church or managed to stumble upon your true love in the grocery store aisle.  College has become the number one way straight people find someone to marry.  Most people go to college firstly to date and mate with education coming in a distant second or third. The current woke climate of rape culture awareness and penis-policing is one of the dumbest acts of self-sabotage ever perpetrated upon colleges and universities. If straight kids cannot go to college in order to get laid without the scrutiny of finger-pointing ninnies, they might as well skip college and its attendant crippling, inescapable, lifelong debt.  

In an age without the internet, there weren't as many choices when it came to dating.  Anyone who is a certain age remembers personal ads: tiny little bits of text in the classified sections of newspapers where people advertised themselves semi-anonymously in order to find dates.  Though I was never brave enough to answer a personal ad in my single years, I used to enjoy combing through them for laughs and to creep myself out imagining who was actually writing them.  Pictures were expensive to put in the paper back in the day -- at least in today's dating scene, there is more information about a potential suitor or mistress than a few photo-free lines of text.  Additionally, potential dates can be intensively researched on the internet.  You can bet your bottom dollar if I was single and looking in today's dating minefield that I would do the equivalent of a private investigation on my potential date before I so much as swiped right.  Nowadays, any potential date can be vetted before a physical meeting.  That is a tremendous advantage.  Compare the old timey personal ad, which was like Forrest Gump's box of chocolates: you never knew what you were gonna get, in fact, you could not check out what he or she looked like.  STD bug chaser?  Sleepless in Seattle?  Bigamist with four children?  Serial killer?  Yeah.

The improvement of videos, photos, and criminal records of the potential date becoming available does not seem to help the quality issues inherent to finding someone to pair off with.  The problem with dating is... well, humans.  The internet dating scene reminds me of the advent of cable television.  More is not merrier.  While it offered six hundred channels, there was still nothing on.  

Etheric starvation is terrible, especially because it is the commonest condition of our times.  Etheric starvation is a straight and unfettered road to addiction, fatigue, disease, and broken human relationships.  It is the reason I am working on a book called Sacred Homemaking which seeks to repair the etheric via relationships with housing, the land, and its spirits, along with the courted assistance of the Divine.

Men tend to feel the sting of etheric starvation more acutely than women.  Perhaps this is why there are always more men seeking to date women than women seeking to date men: they are hungry in more ways than one.  Women do more etheric labor than men, which is to say women do more of the daily housework that enriches the etheric plane such as cleaning and cooking.  Men of this era have lost both the ability and willingness to do housework and the more male etheric labors of building, maintaining, and fixing things around the home.  

When I was dating from ages 16-24 in the late 80s and early 90s, the men I had to choose from were a pathetic joke.  They weren't men so much as boys.  The first guy I dated spent his late teens rotting in his parents' basement playing the primitive video games of the era and watching syndicated re-runs of Duck Tales, an animated spin off series about Disney's Scrooge McDuck and his nephews.  Another guy asked me out to a restaurant, bragged about paying for his car in cash, and then surprised me by refusing to pay for a modest $12 meal, which obliged me to use one of my first credit cards.  I was so new to it, I did not know where and when to sign.  Needless to say, I did not agree to see him again.  A guy I managed not to date became unemployable after a string of petty thefts from the cash registers of the fast food jobs he worked.  He impregnated my friend when he was nineteen and she was seventeen.  They had the child and tried to raise it together for a time; she ended up as a single mom.  Their baffling relationship occurred despite his reputation of sleeping with over 100 girls (and some women) by the time he was out of high school.  

In this era of etheric starvation, men and women are looking for the same thing: etheric nourishment.  Sex of any sort is nourishing on the etheric plane.  Even masturbation can offer some etheric benefits, though like anything, moderation seems to be far healthier than polar extremes of excess or absence.  Etheric labor (housework) gives rise to etheric nourishment, and because women have either voluntarily or unwillingly given up their roles as etheric labor providers, etheric starvation has reached crisis levels.  

The Low Quality Woman

The low quality woman is a grifter who depends either on her looks or a combination of her looks and catfishing in order to acquire what she believes she deserves.  She lives in a mess subsidized by someone else's unearned wealth.  She cares only about social media and her appearance.  She is addicted to buying products and services she believes will improve her image.  She is extremely expensive to maintain because she lacks the skills, humility, and energy to cook, clean, and work.  To add insult to injury, she often has children in tow who are exposed and vulnerable to the men she fools around with.  Age is her primary enemy: she cannot outrun it and as she ages, her prospects rapidly diminish because of her lack of valuable skills, spendthrift behavior, and her unwillingness to learn basic survival.  

The Low Quality Man

The low quality man is the shiftless product of incompetent parenting.  If he can be summed up in one word, it is "helpless".  He could not fix a leaky sink if it walked up to him and gave him instructions.  Any cooking or cleaning he has picked up is limited to reheated convenience food in a filthy microwave.  Despite his life constantly being in shambles, he does not feel any pressing need to right the ship.  He has relegated himself to the role of passenger in spite of being the captain.  He is dependent and meekly waits for the day when either he or his enablers will die, in which case he will see what benefits he can scrounge from the local government.  He is what we used to call a "scrub" back in the day: no motivation, no mojo, and no manliness.

Neither of these two are what anyone wants, but because of circumstance, there are plenty of low quality women and men available; in fact, it seems that they are the only types available.  

What Men Want

Men want an etheric resource in a woman primarily as a source of healing.  Men have a reputation of wanting more sex than women, but I don't know that this is the case.  Young men of this era are more voracious where sex is concerned, but that seems to be the physiological result of addictive, mass-marketed porn, including the soft porn of video games.  From my observations, men want cooking, cleaning, and CARING perhaps even more than they want sex, especially as they get older.  Men would like a gentle place to land, plus a person and a home worth protecting.  

Enter the Low Quality Woman.  Often, she is so masculine on the physical plane, the casual observer would think he leans gay for staying with her.  A reliably common scenario among straight people is the woman "letting herself go" after being pinned down in a long term relationship or marriage.  This is a sign of taking the man for granted and lacking the kind of respect that would result in an effort to maintain the illusion of sweetness or softness.  Instead, the warts are exposed for all to see, which leaves the man to either live in denial or to understand he was a fool who was tricked.

If there is a short list of what men want in a woman, I would say it is these, and not necessarily in this order: 1. Nurturing, including etheric labor and sex 2.Attractiveness and sweetness 3. To feel appreciated

What Women Want

Women want a provider and protector, especially if we have children.  Feminism is a crock and a sham for the enrichment of idiotic astral pyramids.  Women don't want to be their own warriors.  We don't want to clean the house, bake the bread (I suck at baking bread, for the record), and to have to go out and win the bread as well.  A woman needs a man who refuses to provide like a fish needs a bicycle.  The overgrown man-child is about as useful as a benign tumor, and half the time he isn't benign.  Sadly, the good providers who quickly get snapped up by high and low quality women alike are frequently so consumed by making big paychecks that they have no time to interact with the families they go to work to support. 

Enter the Low Quality Man.  He also lets himself go, albeit in a slightly different way.  He's got an ego about it, and though he may see himself as a forthright paragon of truth and justice, this is more of an ideal born of extreme insecurity than reality.  For him, taking the initiative and making a better life for himself and others is always One Day rather than Day One.

If there is a short list of what women want in men, I would say it is these, and not necessarily in this order: 1. A provider and protector 2.Initiative and independent self-motivation 3. Loyalty/fidelity

Maybe arranged marriages and marriage-as-property-alliance was better, but I tend to think the logical result of such marriages was the Hapsburgs and incest-breeding one's line out of existence.  That's what happens when you try to keep unearned wealth in the family.  I hope that in the future, people will find a happy medium between Tindr/Grindr and all in the family dowry betrothals... until then?  Good luck.